| Of Thee I Sing Soundtrack lyrics
AS THE CHAIRMAN OF THE COMMITTEE lyrics
FULTON:
As the chairman of the committee
I announce we've made our choice;
Ev'ry lover from Dubuque to Jersey City
Should rejoice!
COMMITTEE:
We rejoice!
JUDGES AND COMMITTEE:
When the angels up there designed her,
They designed a thoroughbred;
And on March the fourth the President will find her
Worthy of his board and bed.
FULTON:
And now it thrills me to introduce the rarest of American beauties,
the future first lady of the land -- a fit consort for the ruler of "122 million freeborn" - ladies and gentlemen -- Miss Diana Devereaux!
HOW BEAUTIFUL
[DIANA APPEARS WITH FOUR OTHER PRIZE WINNERS
HOLDING TRAIN ATTACHED TO HER BATHING SUIT]
ALL:
[SING]
How beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!
How utterly, utterly so!
The charming, the gracious, the dutiful
Diana Devereaux!
FULTON:
[SPOKEN]
The committee will now tell why she was chosen -- with music!
NEVER WAS THERE A GIRL SO FAIR
COMMITTEE:
Never was there a girl so fair!
Never was there a form so rare!
DIANA:
[SPOKEN]
Ah could throw mah arms right around your neck!
COMMITTEE:
A voice so lyrical
Is given few;
Her eyes a miracle
Of Prussian blue;
Ruby lips and a foot so small;
As for hips -- she has none at all!
GILHOOLEY:
Did you ever see such footsies,
Or a more enticing limb?
LIPPMAN:
And the ankles or her tootsies
Are so slim!
LYONS AND JUDGES:
What a charming epiglottis!
What a lovely coat of tan!
Oh, the man who is not hot is
Not a man!
COMMITTEE:
She's a bargain to whom she's wed'
More than worthy his board and bed!
FULTON:
Says the chairman of the committee,
Let the newsmen now come in.
[TO DIANA]
For the sound reels you must look your best, my pretty!
[TO GUARDS]
Have the interviews begin!
GILHOOLEY AND LYONS:
We shall go and bring them in!
WINTERGREEN:
[RUSHING CENTER]
Stop! No!
Though this may be a blow,
I simply cannot marry
Diana Devereaux!
COMMITTEE:
What's this? What's this?
He says he cannot marry
Diana Devereaux?
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:
[TO WINTERGREEN]
You mean you will not many
Diana Devereaux!
WINTERGREEN:
Please understand!
It isn't that I would jilt or spurn 'er!
It's just that I love someone else!
ALL:
Who?
WINTERGREEN:
Whom!
[TURNS TO MARY]
Mary Turner!
COMMITTEE:
The man is mad!
Or else a cad!
He'll have to take her --
He can't forsake her
DIANA:
This jilting me,
It cannot be!
This lousy action
Calls for retraction!
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:
We must know why
You should prefer
Instead of Di
[POINTING TO DIANA]
A girl like her.
[POINTING TO MARY]
GIRLS:
Yes, tell us why
You should prefer
Instead of Di
A girl like her!
WINTERGREEN:
All that I can say of Mary Turner
Is that I love Mary Turner.
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:
What's to be done?
Though she has won,
[INDICATING DIANA]
Though she has signed up
He's made his mind up!
His love he'd ruther
Give to the other!
[INDICATING DIANA]
What shall we do now?
What is our cue now?
DIANA:
[TO COMMITTEE]
He will do nothing of the sort.
First we'll settle this thing in court.
[TO WINTERGREEN]
You seem to think Miss Turner hits the spot;
But what has she got that I haven't got?
ALL:
Yes, what has "she" got
[POINTING TO MARY]
that she hasn't got?
[POINTING TO DIANA]
WINTERGREEN:
My Mary makes corn muffins -
[TO DIANA]
Can you make corn muffins?
DIANA:
I cain't make corn muffins
ALL:
[SORROWFULLY]
She can't make corn muffins!
SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE A PIE
WINTERGREEN:
Well, there you are!
Some girls can bake a pie
Made up of prunes and quinces;
Some make an oyster fry -
Others are good at blintzes.
Some lovely girls have done
Wonders with turkey stuffin's,
But I have found the one
Who can really make corn muffins!
DIANA:
Who cares about corn muffins?
All I demand is justice!
[WINTERGREEN REPEATS "SOME GIRLS CAN..." MARY JOINS IN,
AS COMMITTEE AND ENSEMBLE, SOLD ON THE IDEA, SING OBBLIGATO]
COMMITTEE AND ENSEMBLE:
Corn muffins -
Though other girls are good at turkey stuffin's
She takes the cake -
For she can bake
Corn muffins;
Corn muffins -
He's not to blame for falling if she's able
To serve them at his table.
[COMMITTEE STARTS TO SAMPLE MUFFINS]
They should be happy night and day;
They'll make a couple so delightful;
When two agree on corn muffins,
Their marriage is only rightful!
DIANA AND GIRLS:
[SIMULTANEOUSLY, TO THE COMMITTEE]
Don't surrender!
Don't be tender!
I'm (she's) the winner!
She is a little sinner!
Come! Make your mind up.
I, (she) not she
Is the one who's really signed up!
COMMITTEE:
[HOLDING UP MUFFINS]
Great! Great!
It really must be fate!
COMMITTEE AND JUDGES:
We must declare these muffins
The best we ever ate!
GIRLS:
[SIMULTANEOUSLY]
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate!
[DIANA EXITS]
[HALF THE VOICES KEEP REPEATING]
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate!
[THE OTHER HALF SING]
She can make corn muffins!
She can make corn muffins!
ALL:
[Tableau]
Let's all rejoice!
Other Of Thee I Sing Soundtrack lyrics:
WINTERGREEN FOR PRESIDENT lyrics
WHO IS THE LUCKY GIRL TO BE? lyrics
THE DIMPLE ON MY KNEE lyrics
BECAUSE, BECAUSE lyrics
EXIT, ATLANTIC CITY SCENE lyrics
LOVE IS SWEEPING THE COUNTRY lyrics
OF THEE I SING lyrics
FINALE, ACT I lyrics
WHO CARES? lyrics
THE SENATORIAL ROLL CALL lyrics
IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDING lyrics
THE ILLEGITIMATE DAUGHTER lyrics
JILTED lyrics
I'M ABOUT TO BE A MOTHER lyrics
POSTERITY IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER lyrics
TRUMPETER, BLOW YOUR GOLDEN HORN lyrics
ON THAT MATTER, NO ONE BUDGES lyrics
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