You never thought I'd do it, you never saw it coming
But it happened and they caught you in the act
I used you for a set-up, I used you for a decoy
And you fool, you went and fell into the trap
You took me for an ally but I knew you were an enemy
You got what you deserved because I'm shrewd
You know I was an expert in the art of pulling rip-offs
But you never dreamed I'd put the heat on you
I took the cash; you took the fall
You got arrested; I had a ball
You went to jail; I stole your car
I'm having fun while you're BEHIND BARS!
You tried to tell the cops but they laughed right in your face
And now they're gonna throw the book at you
Though lesson for a rookie but they caught you with the cookies
And now your brief career as a thief is through
I'm the master scammer, while they threw you in the slammer
I was in my car and made my getaway
I'm counting tens and twenties, yeah I'm counting all our money
And you know I'm gonna spend it all today
So if you wanna pull a heist you'd better get some good advice
Before you meet another creep like me
Don't really think you like your cell, I think you'd rather be in hell
But now you know the art of running free
I know you really hate me and I know you wanna waste me
But I also know you're smarter than you look
So when they do parole you and you think you're on a roll
You'd better think before I bail another hook (for you)